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Depression: an insider’s view

This is a republished version of an article previously published in MJA Open

It is never too late to confront the black dog

It is two years since I started enjoying the best mornings I have had since childhood, after finally finding a treatment for my underlying depressive condition.

I was 12 years old when I first recognised that something was hampering my ability to function properly early in the day. I would wake up feeling very negative, lacking confidence, indecisive, and just wanting to stay within myself. But I would find that, after having been up and about for a few hours, my state of mind would dramatically improve. I would become positive, a decisionmaker, happy to take responsibility.

For years, I simply put my malaise down to “not being a good morning person”, but as I got older, the fog would take longer to clear. It started to have an impact well into my working day.

I didn’t want to admit, even to myself, that I had a depressive condition. Rather than seeking professional help, I did my utmost to self-manage my condition, to try to get myself going. I employed a…